The Art of Quitting

By this point in life, most of us have learned (many times) the value of not quitting. This is important and critical to learn. Triumphing over discomfort, learning discipline and tenacity, and keeping your word in many forms are valuable and powerful practices to master.

I spent many years of my career dedicated to mastering this way of working and living.  I learned first-hand, that the value of quitting is equally important, especially given the forcefield of business (and life) leaves us feeling obligated to stick with things, see things through, and keep our word above all else.

This can be a dangerous forcefield to find yourself in since you end up choosing to stick with something above living true to your values, desires, and calling.  There can be real power that comes from the act of quitting, but only as a choice you make to create alignment for yourself, and to live true.

Quitting can be as risky as it is difference-making if you can learn to approach it from a grounded place that supports your commitment to live in alignment.  You can start to use quitting as a tool to empower you by taking a moment to reflect on the following: awareness of the pitfalls that come with quitting, a conscious self-examination, and a choice to quit what no longer serves your mission.

The Pitfalls of Quitting

Here are some common pitfalls that you want to be aware of as you examine the things in your life and work that you’re choosing to quit:

·  Knowing you need to quit something is not the same as having sufficient autonomy to do it!

·  Don’t quit something the moment you realize you should or because someone said you should. In many cases you will not have developed the autonomy to quit yet.

·  There isn’t much power that comes from quitting as an impulsive act because you are fed up, pissed off, or offended.

A Conscious Self-Examination

The first situations and actions to quit are your own.  Resolve to quit your own B.S. first. After you are straight with yourself, then you can begin to examine the people, circumstances, and commitments that you’re choosing to quit.

To begin your self-examination, ask yourself these questions:

1.)   What moods or ways of being do I need to quit? For example:

a. Arrogance

b. Magical thinking, i.e. hope

c. Being a lone ranger

d. Being willing to take advantage of others

e. Resignation

f.  Despair

g. Anxiety about what others think of you

h. Victimhood or blame

2.)   What ways of thinking or operating do I need to quit? For example:

a. Value has something to do with laboring and “putting in time”

b. Wearing how hard you work as a badge of honor

c. Staying busy and using determination to produce the result

d. Using the same intuition or common-sense knowledge and business practices as everyone else and believing it can give you a competitive advantage

e. Belief in your own certainty instead of being curious and inquisitive

f.  Bullshit, ungrounded opinions, being opinionated, and thinking your opinions are important

g. Relying on platitudes and truisms (the emptiness of no distinctions)

h. Only relating to language as a tool for description

i.  Following or copying the latest “thought leader”

3.)   What personal work practices or habits do I need to quit?  

a. Procrastination

b. Operating with low ethics or little integrity

c. Using force or hard work to succeed rather than knowledge and innovation

d. Being too busy

e. Using only common knowledge

f.  Refusing to expend the effort to design compelling offers, conversations, and narratives

g. Using smartphones, personal computers, and technology as tools to work hard as opposed to accesses to live and work in an era of unlimited possible connection

What Do You Want to Quit?

Now that you’ve done some solid self-examination of some of the behaviors, habits, and moods that you’d like to quit for yourself, you can start to look outward at the people in your sphere and examine if there are relationships you need to quit. (NOTE: remember that you are looking from living true or being in alignment vs. looking from who is pissing you off the most right now.)

1.) Which customers, colleagues, employers, or employees do I need to quit?

a. People who refuse to create ambition

b. People who are resolved to not learn

c. People who are unethical, unprincipled, or thoughtless

d. People who are committed to “selling” instead of designing compelling new offers

e. People who are uncooperative or unwilling to coordinate their actions with yours

f.  People who are not autonomous and are not interested in doing the work to get autonomous

g. People who are “Business Laborers”

2.) Do I need to quit any offers (products and/or services) my employers or I am making because they will never be highly valued or will never attract the customers I want to do business with?

3.) What else do you need to quit, or be rid of, to open future opportunities for fulfilling your ambitions and living true?

If you can stay grounded in your calling and look from living true, you will grant yourself the opportunity to examine your work and your life with an intuitive understanding of what you’re choosing to quit.  Remember: only you can do this looking and thinking – no one else can do it for you.